Hello, Portland

Hi guys! I have been so busy (what's new, right?) lately. Danny and I have made our way to Portland, Oregon. It feels so nice to be back. Danny found a job his last week of Code Fellows. He is now working at FINE Design Group here in downtown Portland. Our new apartment is right down the street from his job. His first day of work was November 11th. He went to dev bootcamp for iOS, but he got a job for rails. Which is another language. But he is still doing iOS on the side and is going to find work doing that a little later on. 

He enjoys his job, and the people he works with. I have been there a couple of times and it is a really nice workplace. Everyone I've met there seems pretty nice. I would like working there too if I were him, it's so chill and relaxing, they get to listen to music while working. We are both happy with our lives right now, everything has fallen into place perfectly. 

For those of you who don't know, this is our first time living on our own without any roommates, in the whole three and a half years we've been together. It's crazy to think about how far we've come, and how long it took us to get to where we are now. But I am so happy with where we are, it has taken a lot of stress off of our relationship. Living with others can be so stressful, and most of the time, it is. Especially when it's with other family members. Because you're bound to get on each other's nerves, and with family, you definitely don't want any relationships to fall apart. And with a baby, it's 10 times harder to live with others. 

Everything is the way it should be now, and we couldn't be more happy. Rylee is getting so big, and learning so much every day. It's amazing watching her grow and develop. We love being in Portland so much. I'm not super stoked on the weather here, but if I'm gonna live somewhere with crappy weather, it's gonna be here! I just love the vibes Portland has, and the people are pretty cool, too. 

I plan on getting back on YouTube again here very soon. We are pretty much all settled in our apartment now, so it's only a matter of time that I start filming again soon. Sometimes I think about how much I missed out on (on YouTube), and how much farther I could have gone, and sometimes it disappoints me, because I feel like I've gone absolutely nowhere. But I know I have, not nearly as far as I'd like to go, but it's a start. When I look back at where I started, and where I am now, I am a little proud of myself, it's my job, and I've been on one long vacation, ha ha! But I have also been a mom, and there is nothing better than that. 

I'm going to try harder to make more time for YouTube, it's what I love doing, and it's what I'm doing for work right now. I am a certified makeup artist, but I am not really doing makeup right now on clients, I'm just not free with taking care of a 1 year old everyday while the husband is at work. Sometime in the middle of this next year, I will be going on my second tour at Aveda here in Portland, and possibly starting school there next year. Doing hair has always been a dream of mine, and I wish I would have done that a long time ago like I wanted to, instead of listening to other people when they told me I'd fail. I know that's my dream and I know I'd be great at it. Hair and makeup. 

I could go into more detail about everything, but this post is already a bit lengthy. So I will post more videos about everything soon, as well as some beauty ones. I'm getting back into blogging on my beauty blog, so check it out and please go follow! Thanks, you guys are awesome. 

Life Without Danny: Weeks 7&8

The last couple weeks flew by. Danny came to LA on the 2nd of November. We stayed a few days at my grandparents house and drove back up to Mammoth yesterday. 

It's nice having him back. We are all still adjusting though. We both got used to being away from each other. But we are very happy to be together again. It has just been so tiring with all the driving we've been doing. 

We drove to San Diego on Monday, we took Rylee to the zoo for her birthday, which is tomorrow (November 7th). The drive to San Diego was 2 hours. Ry did pretty good but got a little fussy towards the end. The zoo was enjoyable though and wasn't very busy. Rylee had a blast seeing all the animals. She loves animals. 

The drive from my grandparents house in Azusa to Mammoth is 6 hours. Rylee did pretty good but there were times she just cried for awhile. Especially towards the end. We are in Mammoth one more day then we start our drive up north tomorrow morning. Did I mention Danny got a web development job in Portland? He starts Monday! I'm so proud of him. He just got out of dev bootcamp and he already has a job. Although it isn't iOS, it's a start. And he will still be doing iOS on the side. A few iOS jobs have contacted him for interviews in LA, but be already took the job at FINE Design and doesn't wanna chance it. Hopefully in about a year or so he can work for an iOS company. 

Anyway, that's all for this journey. I was a single mom for two months and it definitely wasn't easy. But I have learned so much from it. And I think it has bettered me as a parent. 

Life Without Danny: Week 6

We are going into the sixth week of being away from each other. But the good news is Danny is coming home earlier! Instead of coming home on December 4th, he will be back on November 3rd! We are both so excited. It's only a couple weeks away. 

Turns out he won't be taking the rails class after all. Long story. But he is almost done with the iOS course. And he is loving it. He has already made an app called fridgeit for iOS 7.0. It's not a very exciting app, it was just a little something he threw together in three days to have something to put on his resume. But he is working on creating a game right now and is actually putting some time into that app. 

As for Rylee, she is doing great. She is teething right now and her back teeth are next, she already has her top four and bottom four teeth. She's had those for awhile now. Poor baby is going to have a bad time with these new ones coming in. I'm very excited to see how she reacts when Danny comes back home. She loves him so much. She will be so excite to see her daddy again! 

Life Without Danny: Week 5

Wow, it's already been 5 weeks. I can't believe how fast the weeks are going by. Almost halfway through. And only less than a month until I get to see Danny again! 

Taking care of Rylee without Danny here is really wearing on me. I don't have time for anything. I'm lucky if I get to do a 30 minute cardio session in the morning. But I know this is all for the better so I am trying to stay positive about everything. 

Also! Danny might come home early! He might be done with school in November instead of December. He's in the iOS class right now (8 weeks), and he was supposed to take Ruby on Rails(4 weeks) right after. Turns out, the class might be full and he may not get to go. 

Danny already knows a little RoR, from teaching himself. So that's good. It would obviously look better on his resume if he took the Rails course too, but if not, he can always put in more hours at home. Either way, whatever is meant to be, will be. We're just letting God take control. We will find out soon when he will be coming back home for good! 

Life Without Danny: Week 4

4 weeks down, 8 to go! Wow, time has just been flying by. I can't believe it has already been a month. It's getting easier day by day, although I don't really get to talk to Danny much on the phone. We usually only iMessage each other. And we don't even get to do that often because he's constantly working on iOS apps. But it's okay because I keep myself busy with Rylee, and it's nice hanging out with my grandparents. 

So like I said, I don't get to talk to Danny on the phone very often. I get to talk to him once a day, and it's usually at bedtime, if I'm lucky, I get to talk to him for a little while on his lunch break. Anyway, last night I finally got to talk to him, after not being able to talk to him all day. He was in line at a RedBox returning a movie as he was telling me about how he was at Vons the night before and a lady in line was being super rude to him. He finished his story, and I started talking to him about it, not knowing that I was on speaker phone, so everyone around him could hear me. Well, as I am talking to him, some girl behind him in line totally cuts me off and starts asking Danny about the situation in Vons he was telling me about, so he starts quickly explaining it to her. So I said "I guess I'll let you go and talk to you later." He asked "why?" And I said "because someone just RUDELY interrupted our conversation while I was talking to you and now you're talking to her." I said way more than that, I can't remember exactly what I said, but something along the lines of "holy shit, what is wrong with people?! I can't believe someone would try to stay a conversation with someone while they are clearly on the phone. Does she seriously not see that you're talking to someone?!" So he just started talking to me again. I asked what movie he was returning. And he said the new Star Trek. THEN the girl goes "oh that was a great movie huh?!" And I say "oh my god, she's doing it again? That's so f*cking rude and inconsiderate, she needs to shut up, I never get to talk to you and this is the only few minutes I have with you." Then Danny was walking back to his car and said "jeez babe, you're on speaker phone." Oops! I told him I was glad she hear me. Keep in mind I was a little sad in the first place that I don't have much talking time with my husband and I miss him like crazy. Also, I was so surprised that someone would completely interrupt someone on the phone. How disrespectful. AND, it's even worse because she tried talking to him a SECOND time after she heard me tell him it was rude the first time she did it. And after I expressed how much I miss him and never get to talk to him. So it was almost like she did it a second time to be a b*tch. Excuse the language. The whole situation just pissed me off! 

I do think I overreacted a little bit though! But, I have been exhausted for four weeks being a "single" mom, and I miss my damn husband! I don't regret saying anything I said while I was on speaker phone, like I said, I'm glad she heard me! Haha! 

All I know is, when I see someone talking on their cell phone, I definitely wouldn't randomly start a conversation with them. Have some decency people! 

Anyway, I cannot wait to see Danny in a month! He will be back in Mammoth to visit for the weekend for Rylee's birthday! :D 

Life Without Danny: Week 3

I can't believe it's been three weeks already. Almost four! The third week without my husband wasn't too bad. Obviously each week gets better, because I get more and more used to him being gone. He is doing really well in school and I am so proud of him. 

A few days ago, Rylee would NOT nap. I tried for three hours to get her to nap. I tried bouncing her, I tried laying down and nursing her, nothing was working. I was also in the middle of getting ready. So I would put her down to play with toys so I could finish getting ready. Every time I put her down, she would cry. So I would try to get her to nap again. And that was the cycle for three whole hours. It sucked. It was very hard on me. 

Eventually she took a nap, and I got to finish getting ready. I just need to keep reminding myself that everything will get better, eventually. 

We FaceTime Danny almost everyday. Rylee and I miss him so much and can't wait for him to be done with school! It's so hard with him gone, I'm a full time mom and I just miss having him around in general. He will be back on November 6th for Rylee's birthday weekend. We cannot wait! <2

10 Months Postpartum

The last time I updated about my postbaby body was at 7 months. Ever since then, I have been working out a lot, until recently. If you've read my posts about Danny being gone for school, then you know I've been so busy lately, and exhausted. 

However, I am satisfied with my body the way it is now. I am 115 lbs (20 lbs below pre pregnancy weight), and I feel great. I was jogging about 5-6 days a week for awhile, as well as weightlifting and eating a healthy diet. 

Since Danny left, I've been working out less. And since I've been at my grandparents house, I've been eating more junk. I know, I feel terrible about it! But I haven't gained any weight. I still walk a lot, and still chase a baby around everywhere so I think those things alone keep me fit. Ha ha!! 

Today I started doing workouts again. I don't plan to jog though, and if I do, it'll be like a 1 day a week thing. I don't want to actually lose anymore weight, I'd just like to tone up a bit. So I will be doing tons of little workouts and weights. I am also going to try and eat healthier again. I still eat healthy, I just indulge in desserts more often now. 

Anyway, here is a photo of my post pregnancy body now! 

I am so happy with my body. I love my body. I have never been able to say that before. Like I said, I will continue some workouts and tone my body more, but I'm not unhappy with the way I now look. And I actually do love my curves! :) 

Life Without Danny: Week 2

This (second) week was a little easier than last. I was still super lonely, but not nearly as much. My sister, Desiray, drove down from Oregon and visited a few days. That is another long story that I won't get into. But it was nice to see her, I haven't visited her in awhile. That alone kept me distracted for a little bit, and that's what I needed. I also went on frequent walks to run errands with my father in law. So that was also nice to have someone to talk to during the day while Danny was unavailable to FaceTime or call. 

My grandparents from Azusa got ahold of me this week and invited me to stay at their house for as long or as short a I wanted. This was such a nice offer because I always enjoy visiting them and their beautiful home. They offered to pick me up in Mammoth (a 6 hour drive), and bring me back whenever I want. I am so grateful for this opportunity. I was absolutely overjoyed. So my grandparents picked me up on the 20th, and here I am in Azusa! 

Being away from my husband has been a lot easier since being here at my grandma and grandpa's house. It still sucks and I still miss him a lot, but I'm a lot more distracted here. It's also a lot quieter here in the suburbs, so Rylee sleeps more peacefully. Where we live, there are always loud events nearby, with lots of music and drunk people. So Rylee had a hard time sleeping in that environment. It's a lot easier to deal with when I'm not taking care of her alone, so it's just nice to be away for a little bit. Rylee and I do miss Danny's family back home though! 

We still FaceTime Danny at night, and Rylee loves seeing him! She gets so excited when she sees his face, I know she misses him tons. She is doing very good, though, behavior wise. I am so proud of her. We are so excited for dad to come back home! 

On another note, there was a fire here in Azusa Canyon last night, and my grandparents house is right next to the canyon! So I got some pretty cool shots of it. The fire is completely out now, but there was still so much smoke this morning. It was all cleared out by this afternoon, though. The first photo is taken from the back balcony, and the second is taken this morning from the front, with my grandparents house on the left, that's how close we were! 

Life Without Danny: Week 1

So before I begin, I would like to point out that Danny and I are in the third week of being away from each other while he is in school. I meant to post this a couple weeks ago but ended up getting too busy.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Danny left for Seattle on September 7th for school. He is studying web development at Code Fellows until December 4th (right now he's taking an iOS class and is learning how to make apps for the iPhone! He's in the process of making one now!) So that means that I am in California taking care of Rylee as a "single mom". I am not single obviously, but I sure am getting a taste of what it'd be like! I've been much more exhausted and my back has been killing me! I've been chasing little Rylee (10 months) around all day every day! Kudos to all the single moms/dads out there. 

Danny will be flying back home in November for Rylee's birthday, she will be one year old on November 7th! I can't believe how fast time has gone by. Anyway, I just want to share my experience being away from Danny with you guys. The longest we've been apart was a week, and we didn't have Rylee then. So it was very easy to deal with being away from each other. 

I know lots of families do this, and I know this isn't nearly as hard to deal with as it is for military families. So I am very thankful for that and I appreciate everything God has given me. But although it may not be as hard as other people's situations, it is still a little hard. I've never had to take care of an infant all on my own before, Danny is such a big help, and a great dad! I am so thankful to have such an amazing husband, I am glad he is the father of my baby. I couldn't ask for a better partner.

So the first week was hell. The morning Danny left was so hard. Tears and lots of emotions were involved, and it just sucked altogether to say the least. It wasn't something we were quite prepared for, he got accepted into this bootcamp a few days before leaving, so it all kind of happened last minute. 

Once Danny hit the road to Seattle, I felt so alone. I was sad, anxious, and all of a sudden depressed. I was so anxious because our phones had gotten shut off a couple days prior (that's a long story in itself). Basically, we had no way of getting ahold of each other on his long venture to Washington. Not being able to call him and check in every so often worried me. So I had to wait for him to find wifi every once in awhile to FaceTime. We FaceTimed a couple times that night, and again, the emotions poured out. Danny made it halfway that night and stopped. He drove the rest of the way the next morning. 

Danny made it to Seattle and our phones were turned back on a couple days after. So that was nice. The rest of the week was just terrible. I was still so lonely, and I had absolutely no time for myself. I had no time to really do anything. Rylee requires so much attention, and it's almost impossible to get ready for the day, or even eat. 

I've just been trying to find things to do to keep myself busy. I'm not used to having Danny gone, and I'm definitely not used to taking care of Rylee by myself for such long periods of time. The first week was a drag, and it went by super slowly, but we got through it, of course. 

7 Months Postpartum

Oh man! Where has the time gone? I have not written anything in about four months. I've been so busy! Rylee is now a little over 7 months old, she is getting so big! She started sitting up on her own at the end of 4 months! She's just so amazing. She got her two bottom teeth at 4 months old as well. And now her top right tooth is coming in. She hasn't started crawling quite yet, but she is pretty close! Any day now. 

My baby girl is quite the little character. She started saying her "da-da-da's" when she was 5 months old, and her "na-na-na's" when she was 6 months. She's been making lots of squeaky noises, as well as growls. She is the silliest baby I've ever met. She is ALWAYS happy, always smiling, and always laughing. We are so blessed with such a wonderful baby. She is perfect.

I am still nursing, and plan to until Rylee is a year old. We feed her baby food once a day, and she gets little baby cereal snacks occasionally. Other than that, she is breast fed. We are still co sleeping, and if anyone wants to know more about that, there are some pretty good articles on Google about it! I may write another post about it in the near future, and why we choose to co sleep. However, we are slowly trying to ween Rylee from co sleeping so she can learn to sleep alone, we don't want to just let her "cry it out" because we don't agree with that.

As for myself, I feel absolutely wonderful for being 7 months postpartum. I've been keeping myself busy with workouts and eating healthy. I've been trying to go on jogs (1 mile) every day, and doing other exercises at home. There are some days I'm not able to go on jogs, but most of the time I am able to. I go on lots of walks as well. It feels amazing to be so healthy, I've never felt this great! I am 5' 3.5" and am down to 119 lbs! I fluctuate from 119 to 122 though, but fluctuating is normal for most! My pre pregnancy weight was 135, so I feel so accomplished to be where I am at. The heaviest I've ever weighed was about 145 when I was 16-17 years old, besides being pregnant of course, but that doesn't really count! I believe I was 170lb when I was pregnant. Not too bad. The photo to the right is my 7 month postpartum body. I am not exactly where I want to be right now, but I am comfortable with the way my body looks, and I don't think I have ever felt that way, sadly. I have love handles, and I am okay with that, because I am still working my butt off to get rid of them, and I know I will. I am determined to be fit. I barely have any muscle in my arms, but a month or two ago, there was absolutely nothing there when I'd flex! I've come such a long way. 

After I had Rylee, I had a major sweet tooth. I ate sugar every single day! Red velvet cupcakes, candy, ice cream, you name it. Kicking that habit was the hardest. I was working out and seeing no results. Because the key to losing weight, is mostly eating healthy! I post my progress photos on Instagram @libertyyweaver if you're interested! 

Oh, another thing I should probably mention, we are now living in Mammoth Lakes, California. Such a beautiful place, I've missed it here! I am in school for makeup, and Danny is studying web development. He's doing great! We both are. I just got a job here and Trendy Tots, and I start at the end of June. We are currently saving up to move to L.A. We will both find great job opportunities there. That is all for now. Thanks for all the support. <3

Three Months Later (And Everything Else)

It has been so long since I've posted anything on here. And I am going to try to post on a regular basis, that way I have something to look back on in the future. Rylee is now 14 weeks old. I usually just say she's 3 months old, I've lost track of the weeks by now. She is getting so big so fast. So I am going to talk about what has been happening lately, and how Rylee has been developing. If you'd like to hear about the birth and my labor, I will attach a video to this post, and you can watch it!

Anyway, Rylee has been learning so much these last couple of weeks. She started holding up her head very early, I wanna say around 2 weeks! She is so smart and so advanced. She must take after her daddy because I'm a bit ditzy! ;) 

She is already learning to sit up pretty well, we help her of course, but I feel she will be able to be sitting up in about a month or so! They say that babies usually sit up on their own between 4 and 7 months. I think Rylee will be closer to the 4 month mark than the 7 month mark. 

It seems like all of a sudden, she has been learning all of these things! On February 8th, she found her feet! It was pretty cool, Danny was sitting her up and she was looking at her little feet, she leaned forward and grabbed one! I was so excited. On February 12th, I was taking photos with her on Photo Booth, and I was using the silly effects, of course! Rylee looked so funny, I started laughing at how hilarious we looked. She started laughing also! Not just the usual giggles she does, this was a REAL laugh!! It was awesome. I tried switching it to video so I could catch it on camera, but she had stopped by that time. It was the cutest thing ever. 

She does smile a lot! She giggles a lot as well. She is such a happy baby, I love it. She has really good head control, she always has. Which is really good because it makes it a lot more convenient for us to hold her. 

Her little chunky legs are so strong! When we hold her up, she stiffens her legs, as if she is trying to stand. And she won't bend them until awhile after! She keeps her legs stiff for such a long time. It really is amazing. 

Rylee is such a character! I can't believe how time has flown. She is definitely going to be a drama queen, just like her mama was! Ha ha ha! When she cries, she makes this face... 


Her little frown is just so cute!! It definitely makes me sad when she makes this face though, this is going to be one of my biggest weaknesses, she will probably get away with A LOT when she makes this face! 

She is already starting to develop a personality, it's quite amazing to watch. She is the most precious thing in my life, I wouldn't trade her for the world. She brightens my day, every single day! Her smile makes me so happy, she is always so cheerful and happy. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I am so happy that everything turned out the way it did. Danny is an amazing dad, and Rylee is the light of our lives. It makes me sad how fast she is growing!! But it is also very exciting to experience! She is such a smart baby, I am so proud of her. I am going to try 10 times harder to make something of my life, go to cosmetology school, have a great career, and influence my daughter to do the same when she is older. I know I am a good mom, and that's exactly what every child deserves! 

INDUCTION UPDATE: 41 WEEKS PREGNANT

So I'm not quite 41 weeks yet, but on Wednesday I will be, the day before I will be getting induced! I don't know how long I will be in labor for, I could be in labor for well over 24 hours, especially with this being my first baby. So I might make it to 41 weeks. 

I know in my last post I said that we've decided against induction, and that we really wanted to wait until Rylee comes on her own. I have not made any progress yet. Just a few days ago at my last prenatal checkup, I was still only a tight 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. My doctor called me a couple nights ago and reminded me that he is going to be out of town this weekend, from Thursday to Saturday. He had warned us awhile ago that he goes out of town for a few days every month for school. 

He gave us two options, I could be induced on Tuesday, November 6th, or I could meet his partner, a doctor I'd never met before, and he'd be delivering my baby if she decided to come while my doctor was out of town. I don't know about other women, but I do not want another doctor delivering my baby. Danny and I have grown to love my doctor, and we want him to be there to deliver our daughter. And especially if something were to go wrong, it'd just be a terrible and stressful situation with a doctor I don't even know. 

So we have decided to go in tomorrow at 2 pm to be induced. I will have to fill out paperwork and all that fun stuff, then my doctor will be there around 3 to get everything going. I am nervous, but excited at the same time. I know everything will be okay. My doctor is an amazing doctor and I have no doubts about his knowledge. 

He will be using cytotec still, but the dose is only 25mg. I've done further research on the subject, and the uterine ruptures have been caused by excessive doses of cytotec. My doctor will not be giving me large amounts of it at once. This is why there is so much controversy on the subject. I can't help but think that it'd be completely illegal to use for induction in any hospital if it were bad. They use cytotec all the time and he said I'll be monitored the entire time. I have a feeling everything will be perfect! Hopefully the cytotec ripens my cervix more and I'll go into labor without needing pitocin. 

Thought I'd share this with you guys, I didn't really feel like making a vlog about it, I've been a little busy and very exhausted lately. This week has kicked my butt. I might make a video about it later on, though. I will definitely make a vlog about my labor and delivery story, I promise! 

WEEK 41

This week has been so much harder on me than previous weeks, but that's no surprise I'm sure. I'm nearly 41 weeks and I am so much more tired. Danny and I have been continuing taking walks with our dog, Skyy, but I can't walk as far now because I get the WORST round ligament pain. It's so uncomfortable and there's nothing you can do to ease it, besides stop walking. So it has definitely been a lot harder on my body! I feel larger than ever as well, and that is uncomfortable on it's own. 

Many of you may be wondering about stretch marks, I do have a few on my belly finally. These last couple weeks I have gotten a few, I don't remember if I have already mentioned that in last week's post or not. But I don't have many at all, like I said, just a few. And they aren't too bad at all! I'm actually rather satisfied with my body! We will see how my postpartum body is, though. I've recently started using Tummy Butter from The Spoiled Mama, and it's AMAZING! It's all organic and natural, and I heard it works wonders. I will be reviewing it after using it for a little while longer! But so far I am loving it and it IS helping!

I have been having to wake up a ton in the middle of the night to pee. And it sucks, that's all I really have to say about that. I am glad to say, though, that I have not gotten any swelling in my feet or ankles, so that's one thing I'm happy about! 

I have had some really bad contractions, or what I thought were contractions, a few nights ago. I'd get really bad cramping in my lower abdomen, kind of like menstrual cramps, then my belly would get rock hard while I felt the pain. I was also having really bad lower back pain, and later on I found out that it's because Rylee was in the posterior position, where her back is up against mine basically. And it is so painful. 

Anyway, I am extremely exhausted, and I need to rest before going to get induced tomorrow. So just wish me luck and keep my family and I in your thoughts and prayers! I will keep you updated very soon. Thank you! 

INDUCTION UPDATE: 40 WEEKS PREGNANT

If you've seen my 40 week vlog about my induction plan, then you know that I was supposed to get induced with cytotec today. Today is my due date, officially 40 weeks pregnant! So first of all, I'd like to say, that I have changed my mind. For the first time, I did some research on cytotec and the risks that come along with it. I don't know why it never crossed my mind before! At my last visit with my OB, he told me all about it and what it's meant to do. I sat there and listened as he gave me all this useful information. He is very informative and thorough when explaining something to me, that's what I really like about him. He didn't want to put me on pitocin because since I am still only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, I would most likely have to have a c-section because I probably wouldn't progress fast enough. 

However, with my pregnancy brain, it didn't even occur to me that there MUST be risks, as there are risks with everything. So this morning I wake up thinking about it, being today's the day I am supposed to be induced with cytotec. I researched the drug, and I found that there are a lot of women who have had great labors and deliveries after being induced with it. But there are also women who have not had good experiences at all with it. I understand that some women and their babies are perfectly fine after taking cytotec, but I definitely don't want to be one of the ones who has a terrible experience. 

The risks that I've read about are terrible. Some women's babies have actually died, as well as the women themselves. Here is a quote from a website someone left on my 4 week pregnancy vlog, and thank you for sharing this, even though I already read about the risks, this was also helpful. It is some information about the drug, as well as someone's actual experience with it. I'll just quote the information, though, click the link below to see the whole story. 

"Cytotec® can cause abnormally strong uterine contractions (hyperstimulation or tetany) so strong that the uterus ruptures, resulting in severe injury or death of the mother and child.  It can cause such heavy bleeding that to save the mother's life, her uterus must be removed (hysterectomy),  leaving her incapable of bearing another child, and disrupting her natural hormones.  The violent contractions it provokes also increase the risk of amniotic fluid emboli that can result in a stroke or death.  Many, or maybe most doctors and nurses using this drug do not know."

Passage is from here: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a32376961/cytote%C2%ADc_is_a_powerful_drug_my_story

After reading all these terrible things about it, I decided to contact my OB, I told him how concerned I was and all the risks I had read about. He told me that I will be fine, as well as baby, and that I will be monitored the whole time to make sure that nothing goes wrong. He said that they do this everyday and everything will be okay. I just don't feel like I should chance it. You only get one life and it's not worth chancing for something like this. 

So even though it has worked for some women with no issues, I do not feel my life, OR Rylee's life is worth risking. She will come when she's ready, and hopefully that's within the next 10 days, because my OB doesn't let his patients go 10 days past their due dates. He will induce me once I am past that. But hopefully she will be here within the next week! I know that this is the best decision I am making for my family and I.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. 

38 Weeks Pregnant and Induction

I only have 1 week left!! I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow, but I will talk about week 38. Symptoms for week 38 are pretty much all the same. Although, I have been sleeping a lot. I've been sleeping about 12 hours every night. That is crazy to me! Normally I am fully awake after 8-9 hours of sleep. My body has just been so exhausted this week. 

I don't have any new stretch marks. I've also been using my Palmer's stretch mark cream again, a lot of you might think it's pointless, but it can't hurt, right? No swelling in the ankles or feet, which I am super stoked about. I've been having some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there, but not too much, which makes me really think I won't go into labor anytime soon. Not only that, but I really don't think Rylee has dropped yet. It doesn't look like she has! 

So tomorrow (Wednesday the 24th), we have another doctor's appointment. Once again, he will check for dilation and effacement, yay! Hopefully I've been making progress. Dr. Eiland also told me that we'll talk about my birthing options, as far as waiting beyond my due date and being induced. I told him I will most likely choose to be induced on my due date. OH, before I go any further, my original due date (the one that's actually on my pregnancy verification form) is October 23rd, that's today!! The reason we've been saying October 31st is because when they did the first ultrasound, based on the baby's measurments, they said Halloween is the due date. But based on my last missed period, it's technically today. So who knows really! Due dates always seem to be off, anyway. 

Now, continuing on with my reasons for wanting to be induced... for one, my doctor told me he won't let me go 10 beyond my due date, he'll induce me 10 after my due date if I decide to wait for Rylee to come on her own. He said the reason for that is because there are dangers for waiting beyond your due date. I don't remember everything exactly that he said, but there are definitely risks. Also, I don't feel like pushing out a baby that is over 8 pounds, the baby will continue to grow half a pound each week. The placenta degrades when you go beyond that point, so I definitely don't want to have any issues with my baby because I waited too long. There is a lot of useful information on the internet that you can read about, and I'm sure it will make a lot more sense than the way I am trying to explain it! But, there are tons of things that can go wrong! And if I am actually supposed to be due today, then I definitely don't want to wait past the 31st! 

I know that the labor pains will be more intense if I get induced, and I am fully ready to take that on. Labor is no joy ride in the first place. Many women get induced without an epidural as well, so I'm hoping for the best and hoping that everything goes as planned. I know that the risk of having to get a c-section is increased if you get induced, but like I said, I'm just hoping and praying for the best! Obviously some women don't have a good experience being induced, but some women do. Everyone is different and everyone will have a different outcome, that is true with everything. If my doctor didn't believe that Rylee and I would be safe, he wouldn't offer an induction. I trust my doctor, and he is an EXCELLENT doctor! So glad to have him!

I hope you guys understand my decisions, and I am so happy to have Rylee here soon! I appreciate all of the support and lovely comments. Thank you!

Birth Plan: UPDATED

I've been getting a lot, and I mean a lot, of questions about my birth plan and whether or not I will still be doing a water birth. I am no longer able to do a water birth due to the fact that I will be delivering in a different hospital than I thought I'd be delivering in. Danny and I have moved a couple of different times and the hospital near our house does not do water births. 

I really, really wanted a water birth. It was planned because I wanted to go natural and that seemed like the ideal way for me. I wanted to be relaxed, with candles lit, and soft music in a nice, relaxing and warm bathtub. I was never planning on doing an at-home birth, I wanted to be in a normal birthing center and do my water birth there. It was totally possible when I still lived in the Portland area, obviously much more things are possible in larger cities.

Since I live in a smaller town now, there are not as many opportunities like there are in cities of course. So I will just be doing a natural birth in a regular ol' hospital bed, which I am actually okay with. I have come to terms with this awhile ago. I figured leaving Portland, I wouldn't get to have the water birth I'd hoped for. But I am perfectly content with my birth plan now. I do not plan on having an epidural. Women's bodies are meant for this, we are meant to give birth. I don't feel it's necessary to have an epidural, especially with all of the risks that come along with it. I am not against epidurals, nor will I ever try and talk someone out of having one, and I'd appreciate the same from others. I am strong minded, and I know I can do this without any pain relief! The pain is only temporary, and it will all be worth it in the end!

So I will still be having a natural birth if everything is okay and if there is no need for an emergency cesarean section of course, but it definitely won't be a water birth. 

I have also gotten questions about breastfeeding. I've done tons of research on breastfeeding because I wanted to know all of the benefits. I will be breastfeeding. My goal is to breastfeed for one year. That is usually the recommended time to breastfeed for. It is also recommended that you exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, meaning that the baby only feeds on breast milk, and no other foods or liquids. I am confident that I can do it, I am aware that it will be painful, though. There are many reasons I choose breastfeeding over formula feeding my baby. Of course it's great that breastfeeding will help me lose the baby weight, but it's so much more than that. It's so much healthier for myself AND baby. It decreases any risks of ovarian and cervical cancer for the both of us. Breastfeeding decreases the chances of baby getting any kind of illnesses. It decreases the chances of baby ever getting obese. ALSO, a big one I like, breast milk goes through baby's body faster, making baby dirty diapers faster, and I know that doesn't sound too exciting, BUT, formula sits in baby's stomach longer so the baby feels more full for a longer period of time. This can cause constipation. 

So basically I just want what's healthiest for my baby!

Here is a message to everyone who leaves me sweet comments telling me they believe in me and they know I'll do great with a natural birth, also to everyone who tells me I inspire them to have a natural birth: 
Thank you so much! I don't know if you guys realize this, but I DO read all of your comments on YouTube, even though I may not always be able to write back to all of them. Your encouraging comments mean a lot to me. I love all of you! And for the soon to be moms out there who tell me I inspire you to have a natural birth because of the way I am approaching it, just keep in mind that your body is fully capable of giving birth with no medications! Of course labor is a scary thing to approach, but we just have to go in to that hospital with the right attitude and remember that we CAN do this, and that it will all be over sooner than later. Also remember that all the pain we'll endure will all be worth it in the end when we have our babies in our arms! 

37 Weeks Pregnant

Symptoms for week 37: 

• Acid reflux almost everyday
• Braxton Hicks contractions
• Sciatic nerve pain
• Getting up every few hours to go pee

I still have yet to get swelling in my ankles and/or feet! As for stretch marks, at the very end of week 37, I found one on my lower left belly! It's a very faint pink shade. I'm very surprised that I haven't gotten more at this point. I'm very lucky I haven't. Of course I can still get more, but usually at this point people seem to have a ton already. I have stopped using my stretch mark oils and creams, which I forgot to mention in previous weeks. My stomach has been pretty itchy once in awhile also, and I do scratch it sometimes! I don't scratch it very much, but I'm pretty sure scratching only makes it worse! Like I've stated before though, I'm not too worried about stretch marks either way. They will fade a little bit, also considering I barely have any and the only one I do have is pretty faint!

DOCTOR'S VISIT!

Danny and I went to see my doctor again this week, and this time I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced! We will go to see him again on Wednesday, the 24th, when I am 39 weeks. We will discuss our options with him, as far as induction goes. He won't let me go 10 past my due date, which is good, baby only gets bigger! I might get induced on the evening of the 30th if Rylee hasn't come yet. My decisions and choices have been well thought out, and they are best for me and my family. We are excited to have Rylee here in the next couple weeks! Also, I will be walking A LOT these next couple weeks to try and help labor start on it's own. I'm hoping she comes sooner so I don't have to be induced, but we will see! Either way, Danny and I couldn't be any more excited!!

Thanks for being so supportive! I appreciate all the wonderful comments you all leave me. <3

36 Weeks Pregnant

For week 36, symptoms are pretty much the same as week 35. I have been having A LOT of acid reflux, and it is so uncomfortable! I find that chewing ANY kind of gum relieves my acid reflux. I'd recommend it if you have it also, it really does work! As well as acid reflux, I've been having a lot of lower back pain, but we finally bought a yoga ball, yay! The yoga ball definitely helps, as soon as I sit on it and rock back and forth, or even side to side, my back feels so much better! 

I had a lot of sciatic nerve pain in week 36. It feels like a sharp stabbing pain, and it is SO painful, it makes it hard to even stand. I have been waking up more in the middle of the night to pee also. I feel like I've been waking up every 2 hours! I try to look at the time when I do wake up, but sometimes I am just too tired. 

DOCTOR'S VISIT!

Danny and I went to the doctor's office this week, just like we do every week now, and I was a fingertip dilated, which is less than a centimeter dilated! I knew those Braxton Hicks weren't happening for nothing! It was kind of painful when he was checking for dilation, but it wasn't too bad, just something I wasn't used to. 

Thanks again to everyone who is following and supporting me, you are all awesome! <3 

35 Weeks Pregnant

For week 35, I have been feeling: 

• Exhausted
• Nesting stage towards the end of the week

Symptoms:

• No stretch marks or swelling in ankles/feet
• Acid reflux 
• Braxton Hicks contractions
• Pelvic pressure 

UPDATE: Bad Things Happen To GOOD People

I know this is not pregnancy related at all, BUT, I feel that this issue has gotten out of hand and needs to be dealt with. A couple weeks ago, my step dad's truck got stolen while he and Danny were camping. Danny left his iPhone 4S under the passenger seat because it had 3% battery, and he felt it'd be safer in the truck than with him around the water and mud. And yes, the truck was locked, but the thieves got into it through the back window, popped the ignition out, and most likely used a screwdriver to start it (it's an old Toyota). 

Anyway, the cops around here didn't do much about the situation, so my mom and step dad searched for their truck on their own. They found it, with nothing left inside. The stereo was ripped out, and Danny's iPhone was also stolen. We called AT&T and reported the phone  stolen and they put it on the block list for us, so whoever has the phone won't be able to use it at all. We did have a tracking app on his phone before it got stolen, but whoever stole it must have taken the microsim out because it never showed up when we would try to track it. 

Very early this morning, on October 2, 2012, our car got broken into. Danny woke up at 6 to get ready for work. He came up to our room and told me that someone had broken into it and the whole inside was trashed. I don't know how they got in, I made SURE that I locked the doors, I press the lock button on the key about 4-5 times every time I lock the doors, and I see the car lights flash when I do it, so I know it gets locked. No windows were bashed in, no windows were even rolled down. The center console was ripped out, but nothing important was taken, we didn't really have anything important in the car. However, they did take a 4 boxes of granola bars that Danny bought for his lunches. These people must have been hungry if all they took was food! Luckily, the chief of police was slowly driving right past us as we were making sure nothing valuable was taken from our car. We stopped him and talked to him about what happened. Apparently, there were about 10 other reported thefts from other people's cars in the same neighborhood. We spoke to a couple of our neighbors already, and everyone is furious and tired of this shit happening over and over again. 

There's not really anything the police can do about it, they can't really seem to take fingerprints anymore from what they say, so this same crap is probably going to keep on happening. I've been out of this town for a couple years, and I've only been back for over a month and it has gotten so much worse since I've been gone. The thieves are getting away with so much, it's ridiculous. I understand that this is happening everywhere, but it's happening way too much in this small area, and it's only getting worse. 

So to everyone who lives in the South Bend/Raymond/Bay Center areas, you need to make sure your security is really good. Double check your car doors and make sure they are actually locked, don't leave ANY money or electronics in your car, even if your car is locked! Some people don't have a problem with bashing windows in. If you have a garage that locks up, then you're pretty much set. But there a lot of people around here who don't have garages. 

34 Weeks Pregnant

I've been getting so exhausted lately, just from standing, or even walking up the stairs! I've definitely been feeling much more tired this week. Time is going by so fast, it's becoming so much more real to me that I am going to be a mom soon. 

I still have only been waking up once in the middle of the night. Sometimes I don't even wake up in the middle of the night, but I'll wake up around 7 AM to pee, then go back to sleep for a couple more hours. 

As for my body, I have yet to get stretch marks. It's crazy that I haven't gotten them yet, but I still have a few more weeks! I haven't been scratching my belly, either, when it's itchy, which is really rare, thank goodness! I have not yet gotten any swelling in my ankles or feet, which is a good thing because it's something I dread! 

I can't remember much of my symptoms, I forget a lot lately, as if my memory wasn't bad enough! Thank you all for following me along my journey, the big day will be here before we know it!