April 17, 2012
It has been quite some time before I posted on this blog, but I am going to try to keep up with it weekly now. I announced my pregnancy about a month ago, and if you are subscribed to me on YouTube, then you know that I have been posting vlogs. I try to be as detailed as possible in them, for any other girl who might be going through the same thing, but I think it will also be easier if I blog about it here. I will still be doing vlogs, so don't worry! I will just be doing this as well!
So the first thing I want to say is, I don't care what people think about me or my pregnancy. A few close people told me I should be careful about what I post on the internet about it, because now I'm not only accounting for myself, but for my new family also. I know that there are more people supporting me than people bashing on me. I am not worried about what anyone says, you can't be liked by everyone, and there will always be jerks out there who like trying to make people feel bad. Secondly, I know there are a lot of young mothers, or soon to be mothers. I feel like by posting things about how I feel and what I'm going through, I can really help other young women. I already have, and I know that. I've gotten quite a few emails from people who look up to me and said they are going through the same thing and that watching my updates made them feel a lot better. It's a wonderful feeling, and I'm just glad to know that I can help others. Especially when not everyone has someone who is there for them.
Another thing that I'd like to point out, thinking about abortion is TOTALLY NORMAL when you are young. I've gotten a few mean comments on YouTube about it, saying that I am a horrible person for even considering it. Although I've stated that I am not getting an abortion. I'm only almost 20 (on May 7), and when you're this young and find out you're pregnant, it's a tough decision to make, and unless you've even actually BEEN in this position, then I suggest you keep your judging mouth shut. But, no matter what anyone says, I know that I am a good person, and I know that no matter what choices I make in life, they are for the best.
I'm just glad I have such a wonderful boyfriend. He is always here for me and supports any decisions I make. We have been together for 2 years and we are very strong, we work through everything together. I know he isn't going anywhere, like most boys do these days. He is truly an amazing man. And yes, he is a man. He will be 24 in June. And I'm proud to say that he is my boyfriend. He's here for me through thick and thin, when I need a shoulder to cry on, he's there. So for the people who think we're going to break up soon because I'm pregnant, you can think whatever you want to think, but just remember, you can't say much about people you don't know. If anything, this pregnancy will only make us stronger as a couple.
So, I DO plan on going to school, I am going to be a cosmetologist. I want to go to Aveda Institute in Portland. I will be doing hair, makeup, nails, and more! Pretty much everything there is to know about beauty. Just because I am having a kid, that doesn't mean that I cannot go to school, or won't have time for school. I am thankful for my family, my mom is going to be watching her grandkid while I am at school. If anyone thinks I am a bad person for going to school while being a mother, then I guess there are a lot of bad people in this world. I plan on attending school next year, not while I am pregnant. I am too tired, and too dizzy to be at school all day. My decisions are for the best. I know I will be a great cosmetologist one day, I will be able to support my family without any problems. I planned to have graduated school and get married before even thinking about having kids, but sometimes life throws you curveballs, and it didn't work out the way I planned. Everything happens for a reason, and God always has a plan. I believe he is going to be here for me no matter what. And if you have a dream in life, it is never impossible to achieve, you just need to put yourself out there and make it happen!