College

As some of you already know, I am about to be a certified massage therapist. I attend Everest College in Vancouver, Washington. It is only about a 30 minute drive from Portland without traffic. I was originally supposed to graduate in January 2012, but I am a few months behind now because I transferred from Tacoma, Washington, and let me tell you: Vancouver is WAY nicer. But then again, who would expect Tacoma to be a nice city in any way? Tacoma is a really nasty city, a very small city in fact, and there are a lot of shootings and robberies there. I'm not saying there aren't a lot of those things everywhere else, because nowadays we all know there is, but Tacoma is as gross as it gets. 

Anyway, so now I am going to school in Vancouver, and it is only a year long course. However, I will be transferring yet again to the Tigard, Oregon campus when my roommates and I move, so that might put me a little farther behind again. We are moving to Beaverton because we all work there now, and I'll get into that a little later. Apparently the Tigard campus is nicer than the Vancouver one, which says a lot! Massage therapy is not only peaceful and relaxing, but it is very fun as well. It's not the first thing I wanted to do with my life after high school, but I definitely enjoy it. When I first started school, it was very awkward having to undress in class and get on the tables. Of course we had sheets covering us, so it's not like we were out in the nude! And yes, we got undressed behind curtains! After learning tons of massage techniques and strokes, it became less and less awkward each time. You may think that a 1 hour full body massage is a long time, but it actually goes by very quickly. The most fun part about massage therapy (in my opinion) is all the oil blends and products we get to make. I have tons of essential oils that I get to blend with any massage lotion or oil and all the different types of essential oils help with different things. The spa treatments are also a lot of fun... we have done buff and bronze, full body polish, full body exfoliations, and the list goes on. So if you're thinking about going to school for massage therapy, it is definitely amazing.

I originally wanted to go to beauty school and become a cosmetologist, but plans changed obviously. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE makeup, but I had my doubts about beauty school, and at the time, massage therapy sounded like a better idea. But I am young, and I will pursue a career in cosmetology, maybe after I am done with massage therapy. I basically just want to do makeup, not hair.  I am also thinking about going to college to eventually get my Ph.D in physical therapy. I believe that I can do as many things as I want, because I am still so young and have lots of life ahead of me. So we will see what happens in the next few years. 

City Life

So now I am living with my boyfriend and our roommates (another couple) in an apartment right now. It's not too bad, but it's definitely not something I enjoy, well, the apartment part anyway. First of all, I dislike living in apartments, especially when you're on the top floor, I'm not too fond of being cautious of how loud or noisy I am. Second, we don't get to keep our German Shepherd, Skyy with us until we all find a house (which is by November hopefully!), so someone else is keeping her for now. Anyway, besides the fact that I hate apartments, we actually have pretty cool roommates. And of course, there are things that suck about having roommates, that's how it's always going to be, whether it be family or just really close friends... roommates are tough. BUT, we love our roommates, I can honestly say I haven't gotten along with any other roommates in the past as well as I do with my current ones, which is really good. And don't even get me started on the shitty roommates I've had in the past! Like my aunt for example. *Ahem*... not even going to get into that one!

I lived in a small town for 6 years when we moved from California to Washington, I was about 13. I hated it ever since we got there. You'll hear people all the time saying "Oh, Washington is so beautiful and so green!", and sure, they're right... it's because we never see the darn sun! Okay, well maybe a few days out of the year. Anyhow, I was never the small town kind of girl. I don't enjoy feeling isolated from the rest of the world. I love interacting with others, and I love hanging out with friends. Once I graduated from high school, I was out. I moved to a small city, few months later I moved to a city that was a little bigger. Then, recently, my boyfriend and I moved to Portland and it feels amazing being in the middle of all the hectic, chaotic craziness. I know, I know, it sounds insane; but I absolutely love the city. I live very close to downtown, and let me tell you, driving through there at night is just beautiful. I love the city at night especially. But then again, that's how every city is. So if you live in the city, you know what I mean. There is always something to do, even when you're broke and have no money, there are simple, free things you can find to do. It's not like living in a tiny, godforsaken town and only having the option to do things that are free. HA! 

Don't get me wrong, there are things that I don't like about the city. Like the fact that not only do I hear sirens every single day, but every single hour! Now that is scary, let alone annoying. It's just frightening thinking about the kinds of things that happen here, and even everywhere else in the world. The city has a high crime rate as opposed to towns. There are shootings, robberies, and pretty much anything else you can think of. It really is scary. I also hate when people drive like idiots, and I know it happens everywhere, but it's much worse where there are more people. It's ridiculous. Oh, and did I mention the bicyclists who have to ride on the road?! That drives me crazy. That is one of the things that bothers me the most, because not only do I have to be stuck behind a slow person, but I have to be extra cautious that a pedestrian is in front of me the whole time. However, I do know that I'd choose the city over a small town any day. 

Boys, Boys, Boys

As most people probably already know, I have a second facebook account in which I use to communicate with my YouTube subscribers. It helps people to know when I will have new videos coming out, and what to expect, that way I don't always have to get messages from people asking me when I will be making a new video. Many girls from my public facebook account have asked me for advice with their boyfriends, so maybe this will help other people as well. I really hate talking about this person, but like I said, it may be helpful for people who don't know what to do in crappy relationships. 

The teen years started rolling in, and as everyone knows, that's when the boys do as well. I've had a couple of middle school boyfriends, obviously nothing too serious. I had my first real boyfriend when I was 16, and we've dated on and off the few years before that. I was very, very naive... as most girls are when they fall in love for the first time. And yes, as much as I hate the fact, I was in love. This was the boy I thought I'd be with forever... pretty ridiculous, eh? He told me things that every girl wants to hear, only most of what he told me were lies. Everything seemed really good at first, but after two years, it started going downhill. Basically I knew I shouldn't have been with him, my mom knew, my sister knew, and even my friends knew. They told me all the time, but of course I wouldn't listen. They hated him, and I hated that they hated him. After he broke my heart time and time again, I started to realize the hate my family had for him, and I couldn't blame them. But I couldn't leave him either. Sadly, he had me wrapped around his finger. Knowing he was a burnout, and knowing he was a liar, I stayed. I came to find that he was a more terrible person than I'd thought. He stole from my mom when she supported him, and he continued to lie to me about it.

We finally broke up after two years of bullshit. I was surely devastated, but I am so glad it is finally over. It was painful for a little bit, but time heals everything. My wonderful friends were always there to tell me that, it seemed impossible, but they were right. I am no expert in relationships, but I do know that one boy is not worth all the stress and sadness. Life is supposed to be happy, exciting, and adventurous. And if anyone makes you feel a way you shouldn't, they are not worth being in your life. Letting go seems really hard to do, and you are not going to want to do it at first, but if you know in your heart that it is good for you, then you really don't have a choice if you want to be happy. The key to letting someone go is to cut off all communication with them. It's the only way, continually talking to someone you're trying to let go of is not going to get you anywhere. You need to forget them, burn all photos, and I mean ALL. Deleting photos from any social networking sites that you may have of that person might be a good idea as well. There is no point in saving anything you have left of them. It is such a relief when you know that you are free of that person once and for all. And for every girl who thinks that she'll never love another boy again, think again, because you can, and you will!

If I hadn't let go of that worthless, careless individual, then I would have never met the wonderful man that I am with now. After nearly 2 years, we are still doing great! We started dating in the summer of 2010. Now we live together in the same city we met in. I love him more than I thought I could ever love a boy. He treats me with respect, and he cares for me more than anyone could imagine. He writes me the cutest notes letting me know how much he loves me, and how much he misses me when I am away. He only shows his love for me more and more everyday, which is one of the many reasons I love him so much. He treats me the way I should be treated. Don't get me wrong, we have our arguments, as does every other couple, but I have never been more sure that he is the one. The simplest things we do together are always the funnest! Just going to the park and having swing races to see who can go higher is very enjoyable; or just staying home and playing Black Ops. I enjoy his company very much. My heart is always at home when I am with him. His family is also amazing, the nicest people I have ever met, I love them! It is no surprise that he has turned out to be the gentleman that he is. And my family loves him, that's how you know you picked a winner. ;)

The Young Years

I don't remember much from my childhood. I guess that makes sense being I came from an abusive home and probably blocked most of it out. My "dad" was the abusive alcoholic in the family. Now, I'm not going to go into any details, but let's just say I've seen some things a 2 year old should never have to see. With how bad my memory is, I'm quite surprised I even remember some of the events that took place in my baby years. I guess you could say that this was a big part of my life that caused a lot of the hurt I've had. And I guess you could say that I hate my "dad", absolutely hate him. I am a forgiving type of person, but you don't do that to your family, you don't physically or mentally abuse the ones you're supposed to love.

I haven't talked to my biological father in years, and I'd very much so like to keep it that way. It is especially sad when you never get a phone call on birthdays or any other important holidays. I have built a wall when I was younger telling myself I don't care that I don't have a dad. But deep down inside there was still that hurt. What really bothered me about not having a dad was the fact that he didn't care, he didn't care about me, and he didn't care about my sister. He has been in and out of jail for beating his past girlfriends, and I can't say I feel sorry for him. Many people say that alcoholics and drug addicts can't help their addiction, but my perspective is totally different. I have had a crazy childhood, I have been emotionally hurt, I have been through so much more than anyone could ever imagine, more than any words could describe... and I am not an addict. You have the choice whether or not to be a good person, and if you are not a good person, then I definitely do not feel sorry for you in any way.

But I am grateful, I am grateful for the amazing mother God has given me. And though my mom may not be religious, I believe that I am blessed to have her. She has always been there for me, and she continues to be there for me to this day. I couldn't ask for a better mom. We have had our share of arguments, but so does every other angsty teen and her mom. I really do appreciate everything she has done for me, and I am definitely proud to call her my mother. And although I don't have a biological dad, I do have a real one, my mom's husband of 5 years, Chuck. He loves and cares about my family and I, he always put dinner on the table, and to me, that's what a real dad is. I have never called him "Dad", just Chuck, but that doesn't mean that I don't consider him my dad, because I do. I never really got along with him when I still lived at home, but that was only because I was a teenager who didn't always get what she wanted. I realize now that my parents only wanted what was best for me, and I will admit that I learned that the hard way. So I just want both of them to know, that I am very thankful to have them in my life.

Just A Regular Ol' Intro

Well, hello there, my name is Liberty! I haven't blogged about anything in a very, very long time. I think it'd be nice to share with you a few things about myself and what I've been up to lately. So much has happened in the past few years, things that have made me realize a lot. I've gone from living in a small town in Washington to residing in the most amazing city in Oregon. Yep, you guessed it: PORTLAND! I will be sharing the important things, and the not so important things in my life that have made me who I am today. The obstacles that I've had to face, and the heartbreak that has only made me a stronger person. I know there are people out there who look up to me, people that I don't even know personally who subscribe to me on my YouTube channel of 3 years (libertyxkills), and it really makes me happy to know that. Everyone has a role model, and I like knowing that some people consider me their's. I will be opening up about a lot of the personal things in my past, and I think it will be good for some people to read and relate to. I promise I will try my hardest to keep everyone updated this time.