Life Without Danny: Week 2

This (second) week was a little easier than last. I was still super lonely, but not nearly as much. My sister, Desiray, drove down from Oregon and visited a few days. That is another long story that I won't get into. But it was nice to see her, I haven't visited her in awhile. That alone kept me distracted for a little bit, and that's what I needed. I also went on frequent walks to run errands with my father in law. So that was also nice to have someone to talk to during the day while Danny was unavailable to FaceTime or call. 

My grandparents from Azusa got ahold of me this week and invited me to stay at their house for as long or as short a I wanted. This was such a nice offer because I always enjoy visiting them and their beautiful home. They offered to pick me up in Mammoth (a 6 hour drive), and bring me back whenever I want. I am so grateful for this opportunity. I was absolutely overjoyed. So my grandparents picked me up on the 20th, and here I am in Azusa! 

Being away from my husband has been a lot easier since being here at my grandma and grandpa's house. It still sucks and I still miss him a lot, but I'm a lot more distracted here. It's also a lot quieter here in the suburbs, so Rylee sleeps more peacefully. Where we live, there are always loud events nearby, with lots of music and drunk people. So Rylee had a hard time sleeping in that environment. It's a lot easier to deal with when I'm not taking care of her alone, so it's just nice to be away for a little bit. Rylee and I do miss Danny's family back home though! 

We still FaceTime Danny at night, and Rylee loves seeing him! She gets so excited when she sees his face, I know she misses him tons. She is doing very good, though, behavior wise. I am so proud of her. We are so excited for dad to come back home! 

On another note, there was a fire here in Azusa Canyon last night, and my grandparents house is right next to the canyon! So I got some pretty cool shots of it. The fire is completely out now, but there was still so much smoke this morning. It was all cleared out by this afternoon, though. The first photo is taken from the back balcony, and the second is taken this morning from the front, with my grandparents house on the left, that's how close we were! 

Life Without Danny: Week 1

So before I begin, I would like to point out that Danny and I are in the third week of being away from each other while he is in school. I meant to post this a couple weeks ago but ended up getting too busy.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Danny left for Seattle on September 7th for school. He is studying web development at Code Fellows until December 4th (right now he's taking an iOS class and is learning how to make apps for the iPhone! He's in the process of making one now!) So that means that I am in California taking care of Rylee as a "single mom". I am not single obviously, but I sure am getting a taste of what it'd be like! I've been much more exhausted and my back has been killing me! I've been chasing little Rylee (10 months) around all day every day! Kudos to all the single moms/dads out there. 

Danny will be flying back home in November for Rylee's birthday, she will be one year old on November 7th! I can't believe how fast time has gone by. Anyway, I just want to share my experience being away from Danny with you guys. The longest we've been apart was a week, and we didn't have Rylee then. So it was very easy to deal with being away from each other. 

I know lots of families do this, and I know this isn't nearly as hard to deal with as it is for military families. So I am very thankful for that and I appreciate everything God has given me. But although it may not be as hard as other people's situations, it is still a little hard. I've never had to take care of an infant all on my own before, Danny is such a big help, and a great dad! I am so thankful to have such an amazing husband, I am glad he is the father of my baby. I couldn't ask for a better partner.

So the first week was hell. The morning Danny left was so hard. Tears and lots of emotions were involved, and it just sucked altogether to say the least. It wasn't something we were quite prepared for, he got accepted into this bootcamp a few days before leaving, so it all kind of happened last minute. 

Once Danny hit the road to Seattle, I felt so alone. I was sad, anxious, and all of a sudden depressed. I was so anxious because our phones had gotten shut off a couple days prior (that's a long story in itself). Basically, we had no way of getting ahold of each other on his long venture to Washington. Not being able to call him and check in every so often worried me. So I had to wait for him to find wifi every once in awhile to FaceTime. We FaceTimed a couple times that night, and again, the emotions poured out. Danny made it halfway that night and stopped. He drove the rest of the way the next morning. 

Danny made it to Seattle and our phones were turned back on a couple days after. So that was nice. The rest of the week was just terrible. I was still so lonely, and I had absolutely no time for myself. I had no time to really do anything. Rylee requires so much attention, and it's almost impossible to get ready for the day, or even eat. 

I've just been trying to find things to do to keep myself busy. I'm not used to having Danny gone, and I'm definitely not used to taking care of Rylee by myself for such long periods of time. The first week was a drag, and it went by super slowly, but we got through it, of course. 

7 Months Postpartum

Oh man! Where has the time gone? I have not written anything in about four months. I've been so busy! Rylee is now a little over 7 months old, she is getting so big! She started sitting up on her own at the end of 4 months! She's just so amazing. She got her two bottom teeth at 4 months old as well. And now her top right tooth is coming in. She hasn't started crawling quite yet, but she is pretty close! Any day now. 

My baby girl is quite the little character. She started saying her "da-da-da's" when she was 5 months old, and her "na-na-na's" when she was 6 months. She's been making lots of squeaky noises, as well as growls. She is the silliest baby I've ever met. She is ALWAYS happy, always smiling, and always laughing. We are so blessed with such a wonderful baby. She is perfect.

I am still nursing, and plan to until Rylee is a year old. We feed her baby food once a day, and she gets little baby cereal snacks occasionally. Other than that, she is breast fed. We are still co sleeping, and if anyone wants to know more about that, there are some pretty good articles on Google about it! I may write another post about it in the near future, and why we choose to co sleep. However, we are slowly trying to ween Rylee from co sleeping so she can learn to sleep alone, we don't want to just let her "cry it out" because we don't agree with that.

As for myself, I feel absolutely wonderful for being 7 months postpartum. I've been keeping myself busy with workouts and eating healthy. I've been trying to go on jogs (1 mile) every day, and doing other exercises at home. There are some days I'm not able to go on jogs, but most of the time I am able to. I go on lots of walks as well. It feels amazing to be so healthy, I've never felt this great! I am 5' 3.5" and am down to 119 lbs! I fluctuate from 119 to 122 though, but fluctuating is normal for most! My pre pregnancy weight was 135, so I feel so accomplished to be where I am at. The heaviest I've ever weighed was about 145 when I was 16-17 years old, besides being pregnant of course, but that doesn't really count! I believe I was 170lb when I was pregnant. Not too bad. The photo to the right is my 7 month postpartum body. I am not exactly where I want to be right now, but I am comfortable with the way my body looks, and I don't think I have ever felt that way, sadly. I have love handles, and I am okay with that, because I am still working my butt off to get rid of them, and I know I will. I am determined to be fit. I barely have any muscle in my arms, but a month or two ago, there was absolutely nothing there when I'd flex! I've come such a long way. 

After I had Rylee, I had a major sweet tooth. I ate sugar every single day! Red velvet cupcakes, candy, ice cream, you name it. Kicking that habit was the hardest. I was working out and seeing no results. Because the key to losing weight, is mostly eating healthy! I post my progress photos on Instagram @libertyyweaver if you're interested! 

Oh, another thing I should probably mention, we are now living in Mammoth Lakes, California. Such a beautiful place, I've missed it here! I am in school for makeup, and Danny is studying web development. He's doing great! We both are. I just got a job here and Trendy Tots, and I start at the end of June. We are currently saving up to move to L.A. We will both find great job opportunities there. That is all for now. Thanks for all the support. <3

Three Months Later (And Everything Else)

It has been so long since I've posted anything on here. And I am going to try to post on a regular basis, that way I have something to look back on in the future. Rylee is now 14 weeks old. I usually just say she's 3 months old, I've lost track of the weeks by now. She is getting so big so fast. So I am going to talk about what has been happening lately, and how Rylee has been developing. If you'd like to hear about the birth and my labor, I will attach a video to this post, and you can watch it!

Anyway, Rylee has been learning so much these last couple of weeks. She started holding up her head very early, I wanna say around 2 weeks! She is so smart and so advanced. She must take after her daddy because I'm a bit ditzy! ;) 

She is already learning to sit up pretty well, we help her of course, but I feel she will be able to be sitting up in about a month or so! They say that babies usually sit up on their own between 4 and 7 months. I think Rylee will be closer to the 4 month mark than the 7 month mark. 

It seems like all of a sudden, she has been learning all of these things! On February 8th, she found her feet! It was pretty cool, Danny was sitting her up and she was looking at her little feet, she leaned forward and grabbed one! I was so excited. On February 12th, I was taking photos with her on Photo Booth, and I was using the silly effects, of course! Rylee looked so funny, I started laughing at how hilarious we looked. She started laughing also! Not just the usual giggles she does, this was a REAL laugh!! It was awesome. I tried switching it to video so I could catch it on camera, but she had stopped by that time. It was the cutest thing ever. 

She does smile a lot! She giggles a lot as well. She is such a happy baby, I love it. She has really good head control, she always has. Which is really good because it makes it a lot more convenient for us to hold her. 

Her little chunky legs are so strong! When we hold her up, she stiffens her legs, as if she is trying to stand. And she won't bend them until awhile after! She keeps her legs stiff for such a long time. It really is amazing. 

Rylee is such a character! I can't believe how time has flown. She is definitely going to be a drama queen, just like her mama was! Ha ha ha! When she cries, she makes this face... 


Her little frown is just so cute!! It definitely makes me sad when she makes this face though, this is going to be one of my biggest weaknesses, she will probably get away with A LOT when she makes this face! 

She is already starting to develop a personality, it's quite amazing to watch. She is the most precious thing in my life, I wouldn't trade her for the world. She brightens my day, every single day! Her smile makes me so happy, she is always so cheerful and happy. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I am so happy that everything turned out the way it did. Danny is an amazing dad, and Rylee is the light of our lives. It makes me sad how fast she is growing!! But it is also very exciting to experience! She is such a smart baby, I am so proud of her. I am going to try 10 times harder to make something of my life, go to cosmetology school, have a great career, and influence my daughter to do the same when she is older. I know I am a good mom, and that's exactly what every child deserves! 

INDUCTION UPDATE: 41 WEEKS PREGNANT

So I'm not quite 41 weeks yet, but on Wednesday I will be, the day before I will be getting induced! I don't know how long I will be in labor for, I could be in labor for well over 24 hours, especially with this being my first baby. So I might make it to 41 weeks. 

I know in my last post I said that we've decided against induction, and that we really wanted to wait until Rylee comes on her own. I have not made any progress yet. Just a few days ago at my last prenatal checkup, I was still only a tight 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. My doctor called me a couple nights ago and reminded me that he is going to be out of town this weekend, from Thursday to Saturday. He had warned us awhile ago that he goes out of town for a few days every month for school. 

He gave us two options, I could be induced on Tuesday, November 6th, or I could meet his partner, a doctor I'd never met before, and he'd be delivering my baby if she decided to come while my doctor was out of town. I don't know about other women, but I do not want another doctor delivering my baby. Danny and I have grown to love my doctor, and we want him to be there to deliver our daughter. And especially if something were to go wrong, it'd just be a terrible and stressful situation with a doctor I don't even know. 

So we have decided to go in tomorrow at 2 pm to be induced. I will have to fill out paperwork and all that fun stuff, then my doctor will be there around 3 to get everything going. I am nervous, but excited at the same time. I know everything will be okay. My doctor is an amazing doctor and I have no doubts about his knowledge. 

He will be using cytotec still, but the dose is only 25mg. I've done further research on the subject, and the uterine ruptures have been caused by excessive doses of cytotec. My doctor will not be giving me large amounts of it at once. This is why there is so much controversy on the subject. I can't help but think that it'd be completely illegal to use for induction in any hospital if it were bad. They use cytotec all the time and he said I'll be monitored the entire time. I have a feeling everything will be perfect! Hopefully the cytotec ripens my cervix more and I'll go into labor without needing pitocin. 

Thought I'd share this with you guys, I didn't really feel like making a vlog about it, I've been a little busy and very exhausted lately. This week has kicked my butt. I might make a video about it later on, though. I will definitely make a vlog about my labor and delivery story, I promise! 

WEEK 41

This week has been so much harder on me than previous weeks, but that's no surprise I'm sure. I'm nearly 41 weeks and I am so much more tired. Danny and I have been continuing taking walks with our dog, Skyy, but I can't walk as far now because I get the WORST round ligament pain. It's so uncomfortable and there's nothing you can do to ease it, besides stop walking. So it has definitely been a lot harder on my body! I feel larger than ever as well, and that is uncomfortable on it's own. 

Many of you may be wondering about stretch marks, I do have a few on my belly finally. These last couple weeks I have gotten a few, I don't remember if I have already mentioned that in last week's post or not. But I don't have many at all, like I said, just a few. And they aren't too bad at all! I'm actually rather satisfied with my body! We will see how my postpartum body is, though. I've recently started using Tummy Butter from The Spoiled Mama, and it's AMAZING! It's all organic and natural, and I heard it works wonders. I will be reviewing it after using it for a little while longer! But so far I am loving it and it IS helping!

I have been having to wake up a ton in the middle of the night to pee. And it sucks, that's all I really have to say about that. I am glad to say, though, that I have not gotten any swelling in my feet or ankles, so that's one thing I'm happy about! 

I have had some really bad contractions, or what I thought were contractions, a few nights ago. I'd get really bad cramping in my lower abdomen, kind of like menstrual cramps, then my belly would get rock hard while I felt the pain. I was also having really bad lower back pain, and later on I found out that it's because Rylee was in the posterior position, where her back is up against mine basically. And it is so painful. 

Anyway, I am extremely exhausted, and I need to rest before going to get induced tomorrow. So just wish me luck and keep my family and I in your thoughts and prayers! I will keep you updated very soon. Thank you! 

INDUCTION UPDATE: 40 WEEKS PREGNANT

If you've seen my 40 week vlog about my induction plan, then you know that I was supposed to get induced with cytotec today. Today is my due date, officially 40 weeks pregnant! So first of all, I'd like to say, that I have changed my mind. For the first time, I did some research on cytotec and the risks that come along with it. I don't know why it never crossed my mind before! At my last visit with my OB, he told me all about it and what it's meant to do. I sat there and listened as he gave me all this useful information. He is very informative and thorough when explaining something to me, that's what I really like about him. He didn't want to put me on pitocin because since I am still only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, I would most likely have to have a c-section because I probably wouldn't progress fast enough. 

However, with my pregnancy brain, it didn't even occur to me that there MUST be risks, as there are risks with everything. So this morning I wake up thinking about it, being today's the day I am supposed to be induced with cytotec. I researched the drug, and I found that there are a lot of women who have had great labors and deliveries after being induced with it. But there are also women who have not had good experiences at all with it. I understand that some women and their babies are perfectly fine after taking cytotec, but I definitely don't want to be one of the ones who has a terrible experience. 

The risks that I've read about are terrible. Some women's babies have actually died, as well as the women themselves. Here is a quote from a website someone left on my 4 week pregnancy vlog, and thank you for sharing this, even though I already read about the risks, this was also helpful. It is some information about the drug, as well as someone's actual experience with it. I'll just quote the information, though, click the link below to see the whole story. 

"Cytotec® can cause abnormally strong uterine contractions (hyperstimulation or tetany) so strong that the uterus ruptures, resulting in severe injury or death of the mother and child.  It can cause such heavy bleeding that to save the mother's life, her uterus must be removed (hysterectomy),  leaving her incapable of bearing another child, and disrupting her natural hormones.  The violent contractions it provokes also increase the risk of amniotic fluid emboli that can result in a stroke or death.  Many, or maybe most doctors and nurses using this drug do not know."

Passage is from here: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a32376961/cytote%C2%ADc_is_a_powerful_drug_my_story

After reading all these terrible things about it, I decided to contact my OB, I told him how concerned I was and all the risks I had read about. He told me that I will be fine, as well as baby, and that I will be monitored the whole time to make sure that nothing goes wrong. He said that they do this everyday and everything will be okay. I just don't feel like I should chance it. You only get one life and it's not worth chancing for something like this. 

So even though it has worked for some women with no issues, I do not feel my life, OR Rylee's life is worth risking. She will come when she's ready, and hopefully that's within the next 10 days, because my OB doesn't let his patients go 10 days past their due dates. He will induce me once I am past that. But hopefully she will be here within the next week! I know that this is the best decision I am making for my family and I.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. 

38 Weeks Pregnant and Induction

I only have 1 week left!! I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow, but I will talk about week 38. Symptoms for week 38 are pretty much all the same. Although, I have been sleeping a lot. I've been sleeping about 12 hours every night. That is crazy to me! Normally I am fully awake after 8-9 hours of sleep. My body has just been so exhausted this week. 

I don't have any new stretch marks. I've also been using my Palmer's stretch mark cream again, a lot of you might think it's pointless, but it can't hurt, right? No swelling in the ankles or feet, which I am super stoked about. I've been having some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there, but not too much, which makes me really think I won't go into labor anytime soon. Not only that, but I really don't think Rylee has dropped yet. It doesn't look like she has! 

So tomorrow (Wednesday the 24th), we have another doctor's appointment. Once again, he will check for dilation and effacement, yay! Hopefully I've been making progress. Dr. Eiland also told me that we'll talk about my birthing options, as far as waiting beyond my due date and being induced. I told him I will most likely choose to be induced on my due date. OH, before I go any further, my original due date (the one that's actually on my pregnancy verification form) is October 23rd, that's today!! The reason we've been saying October 31st is because when they did the first ultrasound, based on the baby's measurments, they said Halloween is the due date. But based on my last missed period, it's technically today. So who knows really! Due dates always seem to be off, anyway. 

Now, continuing on with my reasons for wanting to be induced... for one, my doctor told me he won't let me go 10 beyond my due date, he'll induce me 10 after my due date if I decide to wait for Rylee to come on her own. He said the reason for that is because there are dangers for waiting beyond your due date. I don't remember everything exactly that he said, but there are definitely risks. Also, I don't feel like pushing out a baby that is over 8 pounds, the baby will continue to grow half a pound each week. The placenta degrades when you go beyond that point, so I definitely don't want to have any issues with my baby because I waited too long. There is a lot of useful information on the internet that you can read about, and I'm sure it will make a lot more sense than the way I am trying to explain it! But, there are tons of things that can go wrong! And if I am actually supposed to be due today, then I definitely don't want to wait past the 31st! 

I know that the labor pains will be more intense if I get induced, and I am fully ready to take that on. Labor is no joy ride in the first place. Many women get induced without an epidural as well, so I'm hoping for the best and hoping that everything goes as planned. I know that the risk of having to get a c-section is increased if you get induced, but like I said, I'm just hoping and praying for the best! Obviously some women don't have a good experience being induced, but some women do. Everyone is different and everyone will have a different outcome, that is true with everything. If my doctor didn't believe that Rylee and I would be safe, he wouldn't offer an induction. I trust my doctor, and he is an EXCELLENT doctor! So glad to have him!

I hope you guys understand my decisions, and I am so happy to have Rylee here soon! I appreciate all of the support and lovely comments. Thank you!